I'm starting to think it's just that time of year... Or maybe it's a Mid-teen Crisis. Whatever the cause, I've been feeling really stressed lately. Stressed about school, about the future, about being the best person I can be. I'm surprised my hair isn't falling out by now.
School is a waste of time. I'm learning nothing, enjoying nothing, and just getting by. I really don't care about it anymore. I've got Senioritis.
At this point in the year, everyone is trying to figure out next year. The principal wants to know your schedule. Parents and grade sponsors want to know what you want to do for prom next year. What college do you want to go to? What job do you want to have for the rest of infinity? Who are you going to marry? Where will you live? Are you taking him to prom? What are you going to name the cat you'll have when you're 76? All I want is for everyone to slow down and take a breath.
I need to slow down and take a breath.
Lately, I've been really lazy in my personal life because when I get home from tennis and school, I'm too tired to do anything. And on the weekends, I either have something going on, or I'm catching up on all of the rest that I lost over the week. I haven't touched anything I've written at least two weeks. I haven't been posting art or youtube videos or stories or blog posts.
Trying to make myself better is one of the hardest things I can do by force. It seems like the more I try to be better, the worse I get. I think about it too much and notice the temptations of whatever I don't want to want more.
All of the energy has been sucked from me. I have no motivation, no drive. I want to write and edit and make videos... But, at the same time, I don't want to put in the effort to do them. All of these schedules and routines and rules are getting to my head. I just want school to end already!
This summer is supposed to be one of the best summers ever. I can't wait to run and swim and bike, draw, read, write, play, and be warm. I just hope that it lives up to all of the hype.
~Em
School is a waste of time. I'm learning nothing, enjoying nothing, and just getting by. I really don't care about it anymore. I've got Senioritis.
At this point in the year, everyone is trying to figure out next year. The principal wants to know your schedule. Parents and grade sponsors want to know what you want to do for prom next year. What college do you want to go to? What job do you want to have for the rest of infinity? Who are you going to marry? Where will you live? Are you taking him to prom? What are you going to name the cat you'll have when you're 76? All I want is for everyone to slow down and take a breath.
I need to slow down and take a breath.
Lately, I've been really lazy in my personal life because when I get home from tennis and school, I'm too tired to do anything. And on the weekends, I either have something going on, or I'm catching up on all of the rest that I lost over the week. I haven't touched anything I've written at least two weeks. I haven't been posting art or youtube videos or stories or blog posts.
Trying to make myself better is one of the hardest things I can do by force. It seems like the more I try to be better, the worse I get. I think about it too much and notice the temptations of whatever I don't want to want more.
All of the energy has been sucked from me. I have no motivation, no drive. I want to write and edit and make videos... But, at the same time, I don't want to put in the effort to do them. All of these schedules and routines and rules are getting to my head. I just want school to end already!
This summer is supposed to be one of the best summers ever. I can't wait to run and swim and bike, draw, read, write, play, and be warm. I just hope that it lives up to all of the hype.
~Em
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