The Much Needed (And Hated) Sickness

For the past three days I have been fighting a snotty war. I'm one of those people who really wants to get sick to skip out of things like school and family gatherings... But, when I actually get sick, I'm okay with it for about 30 seconds before I want to be healthy again.

Runny nose, sore throat, sick stomach, headaches.... Yeah. You don't want to come near me. I stayed home from school Tuesday and Wednesday, but today I'm back. Granted, I can't hear anything and my nose is running constantly to the point where I said,"Screw it. I'll just carry the kleenex box around." I just couldn't miss another day of school. Now, I am at school and thinking.... Oh, yeah. I definitely could have missed another day of school. Not because I'm sick sick. It's because I'm sick.... And tired of school and routines and assholes who can't count past potato.

As for the origins of this sickness... Probably Europe. Or probably not. Maybe I got it from this school's disgusting bathrooms. Or perhaps I picked it up from my brother. The case was only worsened by the lack of sleep attained this weekend.

There were two good things that I did get out of my two sick days. I caught up on every episode I've ever wanted to. I caught up so much that I get sick and tired of the T.V. I proceeded to get really bored which resulted in me getting halfway through the first Harry Potter in about 3 hours. Talent, baby.

This what the first time reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone since I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I feel sort of bad, actually. I grew up with the book. It's one of the main reasons that I'm still writing today. I find it amazing how many connections I can make from the first to the last books. I might have to write about this in my writing blog.

What books did you read growing up? Reread them!

~Em

Stressball Relief

I'm starting to think it's just that time of year... Or maybe it's a Mid-teen Crisis. Whatever the cause, I've been feeling really stressed lately. Stressed about school, about the future, about being the best person I can be. I'm surprised my hair isn't falling out by now.

School is a waste of time. I'm learning nothing, enjoying nothing, and just getting by. I really don't care about it anymore. I've got Senioritis.

At this point in the year, everyone is trying to figure out next year. The principal wants to know your schedule. Parents and grade sponsors want to know what you want to do for prom next year. What college do you want to go to? What job do you want to have for the rest of infinity? Who are you going to marry? Where will you live? Are you taking him to prom? What are you going to name the cat you'll have when you're 76? All I want is for everyone to slow down and take a breath.

I need to slow down and take a breath.

Lately, I've been really lazy in my personal life because when I get home from tennis and school, I'm too tired to do anything. And on the weekends, I either have something going on, or I'm catching up on all of the rest that I lost over the week. I haven't touched anything I've written at least two weeks. I haven't been posting art or youtube videos or stories or blog posts.

Trying to make myself better is one of the hardest things I can do by force. It seems like the more I try to be better, the worse I get. I think about it too much and notice the temptations of whatever I don't want to want more.

All of the energy has been sucked from me. I have no motivation, no drive. I want to write and edit and make videos... But, at the same time, I don't want to put in the effort to do them. All of these schedules and routines and rules are getting to my head. I just want school to end already!

This summer is supposed to be one of the best summers ever. I can't wait to run and swim and bike, draw, read, write, play, and be warm. I just hope that it lives up to all of the hype.

~Em

Sunny Rain

This last weekend was prom (Yay! Prom!). Even though I didn't technically go, I still went as a server. I helped clear off tables, had amazing food, and got to dance. I even got to know a girl who is an absolutely amazing person. She's smart and brave and not afraid to stand up for herself, which is everything that I wish I could be. More on her later.

Prom night, there was boy who was really, really brave and has earned my complete respect. Prom night, this he was a she. Let me tell you, in a small town, that takes more guts than I'll ever have. He looked fabulous. I was surprised at how well it went over. Most people were fine with it. But that's just it. Most people. Other people were asses and wouldn't drop it. Today, I found out that a few of those unlucky people got a little extra water and enzymes in their lemonade if you know what I mean.

I know they only think that way because of how they were raised.... But all the same, I think they kind of deserved it. Just know, I wasn't the one to commit the act.

Speaking of stupid people, let's talk about the average teenage male. Today in one of my classes, the amazing and brave girl I was telling you guys about was talking to a guy in my class. This guy has his moments, but usually I can't stand him. Today was one of those days. This girl and this guy were arguing to the point where she was on the verge of tears. She said something along the lines of I'm moving to Canada, so that men like you can't control me. I felt terrible for her and myself because, let's face it, America is being controlled by men. No matter how much we fight, women are viewed as powerless. The reason it is so hard to break out of this is because women have been viewed like that for centuries. Slowly, this is changing. Slowly, the views on homosexuality are changing. But, it's peers like my peers that make me dread the future of the world.

My heart goes out to everyone hurt in the bombings in Boston. I wish I could be there helping at this very second.

I hope something in this post made sense.

~Em

Narcissistic Tendencies

I wanted to pull a Taylor Swift and title the post "I am Never Ever Ever Speaking to Her Again". But, I thought I would save your eyes and put it in the body of the post. You're welcome.

The past three days of my English class have actually been interesting and worth listening too. This is probably because we are reading Brave New World. How could it not be interesting? Also, we rearranged the tables today just to make this one freshman's head explode. He doesn't like change... And he's not my favorite in the world. Let's just say that our views on practically everything are complete opposites.

Speaking of people not liking other people in English class... Near the very end of class this morning we were asked to pick up a notecard and label one side A and the other B. On side A the class was told to write down one person you would love to do a project with and another person you would love to socialize with. On side B, the teacher told us to write down one person you would hate to work on a project with and another you would hate to socialize with. These people had to be in the classroom. I wrote down my people, not thinking much of it and turned my card in. And then... Our teacher read the sides off. I still didn't care. I was expecting my name on side A because three of my best friends are in my class. What I was not expecting was my name being on side B.

Let me get this straight. I am fine with people hating me and not liking me. Whatever. There are going to be people who hate my guts. Tell most people around here that you are Atheist and it's a done deal. But I was a little surprised because of who was in my class. All of them have been friends and hung out with me at one time or another. They seem to generally like me. And I, for the most part, generally like them.

Everyone else was a little surprised too. I have to admit that the cries of shock were kind of nice. I'm not generally a social person and it's nice to know that people actually notice me. It's even nice to know that some people do hate me enough to never want to talk to me ever.

I did find out who said they would never want to talk to me again in the next period. Sort of shocking because I thought that she really liked me. But, I'm a big girl. I'll survive.

Anyways... Thanks for listening to my narcissistic filled rant which only proves that this test ------------> is a little more right.

I'll see you guys later. (>'')> *hugs*

~Em

Musicality

Yesterday was Small Group Contest for band and vocal. Now, seeing that I'm not in vocal, I'll just tell you about band.

The only thing I have to compare Band Small Group to is Speech contests. Speech, of course, is the more fun of the two because everyone is pretty weird and outgoing. They want to meet new people, play games, and have fun. Band, on the other hand, is full of people who got up way to early in the morning and have "I didn't sign up for this shit" written all over their faces. Still, there are some things that I liked a lot better about band contest compared to speech contest. First of all, you didn't have to wait 3 hours for your results. The results from my Woodwind Choir piece was up within twenty minutes. We got a I by the way. Secondly, you could video tape without permission from the state! What a radical idea! On the one hand, it saves someone from a bit of paperwork. On the other hand, everyone already does it.

Unlike last year where I just did Woodwind Choir, this year I also did a duet with my good friend who is a bass clarinetist. This duet was pretty special for two reasons- 1) I wrote it myself and 2) it was the ONLY contemporary piece of music played at contest ALL day. As my good friend told me, "Everyone's playing Bach and Beethoven. We're playing Haywood." After playing it perfectly for the past two weeks and never squeaking once, I managed to squeak a good five or six times. I was so nervous I was shaking and struggling to breath. But, I got through it and never really missed a note. We received a II from the judge which I was perfectly fine with. The last time I did any duet/solo type thing was three-ish years ago in the 7th grade. I got so nervous that I couldn't even play 50% of the music. It was terrible and I felt like complete crap. This year, I think speech really helped me preform better. I was a little more used to standing in front of people and preforming.

Later, I went to a community play and dinner. The dinner and play were fantastic. The sound system wasn't broadway, but it definitely was a step up from my high school's sound system. You could clearly hear everything. There was some feedback partly from the microphones being hit by skin and clothes, partially because the sound techie had everything turned up very high. This would have bothered the crap out of me, and if there weren't as many old people in the audience as there were, I would have turned the pick up down. Also, I would have dressed a little nicer. The acting was what you would suspect a community play to have, but it was very funny and entertaining. Two of my friends' bothers were in the play and they were hilarious. I'd never thought I would say this, but I might like to be in community plays when I'm older. They seem like tons of fun.

~Em

The Spectacular Suck-ism of School

I hate school. I love learning, but I hate school.

School is where you have facts crammed down you're throat which you are expected to keep there until the very last possible second. After that, you are free to throw it up on a piece of paper and never speak of it again.

Learning is exploring; The gaining of knowledge that will stick with you forever. It's like superglue. It's never going to go away.

School is where you are forced to sit for 7 hours a day and pay attention (And let's face it. No one ever pays attention). And then on top of that there is 2 hours of homework every night. 9 hours x 180 days (the average school year)= 1620 hours. Add in sports and the number rises to about 2000 hours. So, 1620 hours is about 68 days. Doesn't seem bad, right? Wrong. Because of the lack of stimulation in most public schools, most students go home and do more of what they have been doing all day- nothing. These nothings would include but are not limited to video games, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, T.V., ect. All this time in school is wasted. All for what? Another American to sit on the couch doing nothing?

Learning, however, happens 24 hours, 7 days a week, year round. Yet, it hardly takes up any time... Or at least it doesn't feel like it takes up time because humans are so damn good at it. That's how we made it this far! The brain is constantly gathering information, storing and discarding it. It decides what is important and what is not according to how a person thinks by the way they were raised and their peers' values. The majority of things taught in school (Like what a simile is or how to solve permutations) goes in the brain's discard pile after it is no longer needed to, say, pass a test. The ideas, actions, and thoughts that interest the brain and have a chance of helping in the future go in the storage pile. Will you ever need to know the formula for salt in a life or death situation? Maybe. Probably? No. Therefore, the brain would probably throw this out.

*****

It's the last quarter of school, so the principal is trying to figure out our schedules for next year. The sophomores had to have a 40 minute meeting with the principal because there are over 35 people who want to take Adv. Bio and Chemistry next year. This is more than ever before in the history of ever. I go to a relatively small school. There are just over 300 people in the high school, so scheduling is a bit tight. I was one of the few to volunteer to split my classes between my junior and senior years. Everyone one wants to get all of their hard classes out of the way junior year so they can slack off senior year. Typical. I, however, want to get as many classes in as I can in the 2 years I have left. I probably won't get them all, but I think I'll get most of them. I sort of regret taking a free period this semester, but I don't think there were any classes I could fill it with. 

Sophomore year sucks hardcore. I have the most boring classes in the entire world. I start the day out with English. My teacher could make an OCD person cry with happiness. Everything is labelled and organized. This is about the exact opposite from last year. And I loath it. I am a creative writer. Very little structure when it comes to me and the English language. Spontaneousness and chaos is the nectar of inspiration. Structure makes me want to shoot myself when it comes to English. On the other hand, I have to have structure and order in the Mathematics department. There needs to me a plan and a pattern. The right and left hemispheres of my brain need to get their crap together and not be so moody. As for science, I really wish I was in S's class and not D's. It's really, really, really, really, really easy to get off topic in D's class. We never get anything done, I'm re"learning" everything I've ever been taught in Biology, and it's a huge waste of my time. I say "learning" because all we do are fill-in-the-blank notes. My last class is Spanish. Nuff said. 

Saturday is Small Group Band Contest. I'm preforming a duet I wrote myself. Wish me luck!

~Em

College... Er... Hmm.

I think a lot about my future especially college and jobs and traveling. I have a lot of questions about college, mostly because I am the type of person who has to everything right the first time. I feel like I have to pick out the perfect major for myself and I can't change it. This, of course, is complete bullshit. But, I think it anyway.

Question One: Should I pick out a general major (I.E. Biology) in college and then narrow the subject (To, say, neurology) as a postgrad?

Since most of the things that I am really interested in right now are in the science and/or medical field, I am definitely planning on going somewhere as a postgrad. My mother says that I should go to a state university (Neither of which specialize in anything I'm interested in) and then go to a postgrad program that is highly ranked in what I want to go in. I do trust my mother, but I would really like to hear a current college student's thoughts, ¿por favor?

Question Two: What is the most amount of majors you can have?

I've only ever heard of one person with a double major and a double minor. Anyone ever do a triple major? I mean, if I'm there, I might as well get everything I want to do done, right?

Question Three: Does it matter what college you go to (If you are going into science, math, medicine) as long as you can get into a great postgrad college?

Question Four: If you go into the Arts (I.E. Theatre, Movies, Graphic Design, Writing, ect), do you really need to go to college? Or are you better off finding a job and not wasting your time?

Question Five: (I know. I have lots of questions. This is the last, I swear.) Are foreign language classes worth taking in college, or is it better to travel abroad and learn the language where it is regularly spoken?

I'm thinking about taking a Spanish, Italian, or French minor. I think being bilingual is very important. Today's world is all about communication. The more languages you speak, the more people you can talk to.

I know I want to be a writer. Most definitely, but I don't think I'll go to college for it. I might just take creative writing classes on the side. There are three things I'm really interested in- Astrophysics, Astronomy, and Cognitive science/ Neurobiology.

• Astrophysics
• I've always been really interested in how celestial body move and interact, the big bang theory, the higgs boson particle, and things like that. I'm a very curious person by nature, and there's no way I could resist wondering about the lights in the sky. 
• Astronomy 
• Astronomy is basically like Astrophysics, but with less physics. 
• Cognitive science/ Neurobiology
• How could I resist the brain? So little in known about the organ sitting in the skull. I've spent countless hours reading articles and writing papers about the brain, focussing mostly on sleep and dreaming. Cognitive science would deal more with how the brain works and what part of the brain does what. I would spend a lot of time with mental diseases like schizophrenia and Alzheimers. Neurobiology would deal more with nerves- mainly the brain and nerve cord. This would have more of a math side to it. 

What are your plans for college? And, what universities do you guy recommend?

~Em

Undefinedment

Why hello there. I really wish there was a punctuation mark that meant the sentence was a happy, smiling sentence. And, no, I do not want to put a smilie face there. This is a blog, not a teenager's phone. Get some class people.

If you are arriving here from my writing blog, welcome back! Good times... Fun memories. Love it.

If you are arriving from the internets, I also welcome you! I hate exclamation points. I use them an awful lot though.

Like I said before, I also write a blog about writing and books. Little do people know, I also have a fitness blog that I am starting to update regularly to. Check them out if you feel so inclined.

First posts are often a drag, so I try to avoid them as much as possible. But, like it or not there are some things that we just must get out of the way.

And believe it or not, there is a story behind it all.

So... The Life and Times of the Undefined. Interesting blog title right?

I played around with some names from The Life and Times of Emily to The Blog About Stuff That Most People Have No Interest In But I Am Writing It Anyway. I mulled over The Life and Times of a Writing Girl for quite a long while. Then I realized something pretty spectacular. Why do I constantly call myself a writer? Perhaps it is because it was the first thing I ever fell in love with, or the only thing I've ever loved and been relatively good at. I'm not just a writer. I do other things, too, like draw, read, play sports, compose and play music, chew gum. Why do I always define myself as this one thing?

Frankly, I was tired of it. I am human, and I am undefinable. Fuck, yeah.

So, there you have it. The Life and Times of the Undefined.

The short and simple reason for this blog is that I love boxing things up into little packages when it comes to the internet. I stick to the rule that a blog should only talk about one subject, and I was tired of posting personal things on my writing blog.

The Life and Times of the Undefined is a place for me to rant and talk about my life. To discuss topics of any sort and talk about other things I'm doing and want to do. So, my dear friends, if you are reading this right now, I wouldn't do anything you don't want on the internet.

Bonjour!

~Em

There's no reason for the photo. I just like it. Actually....
This is a visual representation of you finding my blog.
It's just that awesome.